A very tidy-looking Fabiano

Bonfire -- some thoughts on a magical horse

It was in the news recently that Ulla Salzgeber's Olympic dressage horse Rusty was recently cloned. This puzzled me -- while I loved Rusty he seems an unlikely horse to clone. Nice as he was for his time, warmblood breeding has come a long way. Rusty, and most horses from the 90's, do not compare to today's modern warmblood.

I say most horses. The exception is Bonfire. He would stand up to any of the new stars -- the Damon Hills, the Quaterbacks, the Sandro Hits. He outclasses them all.

To me, Bonfire was one-of-a-kind. His talent shows us that there is much more to dressage than muscle, power, and big gaits. I love showy extended trots as much as the next girl -- if not more -- but that wasn't what Bonfire was about. What he (and Anky) brought to the picture was a musicality, an incredible lightness, and a sense of dancing that is unequaled. He had the soft loft of a ballerina. Every footfall was perfect, and the harmony and willingness was unwavering.

Watching Bonfire and Anky, they seemed more like soul mates that partners.  They are just -- one. I can't think of any other way to say it. Rest in peace, special boy. We will miss you.

RIP Gestion Bonfire

Bonfire defines what dressage can be for me. There may be better, bigger movers, but no one makes it look as effortless and light, and so musical. He was truly an original.

Wish I could share a better quality, no-commentary video. This does not do him justice...

Stanford: Looks older than he is, yes?

He looks older than he is doesn't he? I love the big noble head. Canter is a little sprawl-y, but maybe it's just this moment in time. I'd take him in a heartbeat...

Another Totilas stallion

This one has Rubenstein and Donnerhall on the dam side...

Totilas' first approved son

Totilas is not my favorite stallion but this is apparently his first approved son. He seems lighter, more modern, and at this stage very elastic. Not super tall though. Nice!

Traditional Gypsy Cob at the British National Dressage Championships

I can't say I'm a fan of Gypsy horses as sport horses, based on what I've seen. But isn't this one nice? I wish the video captured the whole test!

What is "feel?" If you have to ask...?

I've often heard people comment that a rider "has a nice feel."  While I get the general gist, I have to admit I don't know what this means, exactly. I assume it means they have a good instinct and perception for what makes a horse balanced and comfortable, and a natural inclination to move their aids in a way to bring out the best movement in the horse.

Someone needs to write the book Rider Feel for Dummies. What do natural riders do, and how do they know to do it? What are the rest of us missing?

To give an example:  I know that sometimes I think I'm turning a nice corner and my trainer will tell me Ri is falling out on the circle. I can feel falling in, but not falling out -- at least not as well. When my trainer helps me correct the problem and get him to stand up in the shoulder, I can feel the difference. But starting from scratch, without that direct comparison, I'm a little lost.

Ditto with the comment that a horse is stiff on the rein going left. I usually know something is wrong but I can't always say what. I try a few exercises, like spiraling in, and I can feel improvement, but I can't always say how it has improved.

Let you think I'm a complete dolt, there are things I have a good feel for -- hind end engagement, lifting through the shoulder, for example. I guess is lateral feel I'm lacking...

What about you guys?

Gotta love the name: Call me maybe

This one may be my favorite, just love the free-moving trot and big cute head...

Harvey, elite athlete

I was walking Harv around the farm on Saturday in our eighty-degree weather, and he seemed to want to trot a bit (he was dragging me a little), and we trotted along a fenceline for about sixty meters.  When we walked toward the barn, a lesson mom stopped and complimented Harv. "What sport are you working on with him?" she asked.

I told her Harv's sport is now elite grazing, and that he trains every day.

My boy...

Pony Up Purses (the one that I want)

$155 and 100% of profits go to horse rescues

I want to own this bag! And if you want to be enabled, consider this. PonyUp, the makers of this bag, give 100% of the proceeds to help horses in need.

 Read more...

My sister has several of these bags, which have straps made of  horse halter leather and a name plate (personalized). She loves her bag, and I love the one I found on the web site.

Bob are you reading this? Be thinking about Christmas...

Dad's ordeal

Last week mom and I went to look at a skilled nursing facility for dad's rehab after his fall. While at the time this seemed stressful, so many things have happened I look back at that day and wish that rehab was all that dad had to deal with.

• The diagnosis is confirmed via biopsy -- Dad has multiple myeloma, or cancer involving the bone marrow/plasma cells. Dad has opted to try chemo which is great. What is not great is that  many nursing facilities do not accept chemo patients. Mom and I visited five places over the weekend.
• Saturday night, his catheter caused some bleeding and the bladder backed up, causing painful spasms and requiring immediate intervention. I spent a sleepless night while the hospital staff performed numerous procedures to fix this.
• That same night, after the procedures to resolve the bladder issue, dad complained of trouble breathing. They took x-rays, which showed his lungs were fine, but he has 3-4 broken ribs. 
• On Monday, they did an ultrasound of his bladder and found there are clots there.

Every day brings some new revelation that is not welcome.  And with my sister and I out of state, and our mom in failing health, I feel like dad is working against unfair odds. 

Meanwhile, dad is barely eating.  I'm wondering how he will have the strength to do rehab OR have chemo. If he does not improve in rehab fairly quickly, Medicare will not cover it, and he goes to long term care, which is private pay (we pay) and without rehab his chance of becoming mobile is lessened.

Dad just moved to the nursing facility today. I'm praying hard that dad will make a comeback after this ordeal, that he'll eat, and gain strength and weight, and do well on the chemo. Thanks for your good thoughts. 

Teenthink: We're all guilty

Overheard at a hunter barn

Teen rider: I would have rocked it if it was an equitation class. 

Trainer: It *was* an equitation class. 

Teen rider: Oh, I thought it was... What's the other option?


We laugh at the teen's foggy notions of her sport -- but at least she has hormones as an excuse. There is an equivalent mental fog in many adult dressage riders. As upper-level dressage rider and Dressage Chronicles author Karen McGoldrick points out in a Facebook post:

 "It amazes me how little most students actually study...this is a discipline and not just a sport. No need to reinvent dressage when it is laid out in front of you in texts that have the wisdom of the ages behind them."

 This is where I hang my head in shame. I want to be an upper level rider someday but when a trainer instructions me to ride "renvers on the long side" or asks me about the training scale, I  reach back into the recesses of my brain and come up with -- fog. My chances of producing the right answer is 60/40 at best. 

Three Days at Devon: Jacqueline Brookes and D-Niro

I was so excited to be capturing this pair's performance, as they were last year's winner (or the year before?) and the music was wonderful. Alas, D-Niro seemed a little tired and there were a few mistakes. Still it is a lovely horse/rider pair...

Super belt on sale

From Riding Warehouse.com.

A third red cat

Mom and I stopped briefly in the hospital gift shop and at the time I felt the need for a red cat in the room. After all I'm used to our two red cats. I sent this photo to Bob via email, thinking he might scold me for buying a stuffed animal. Instead he wrote back "Now how are we going to tell them apart?"

Throughbred West End and Aelin Hill

The Chronicle of the Horse has been pretty active in promoting throughbreds - yet another reason to subscribe! And they just did a feature article on the only thoroughbred in the Medal Finals, West End. The rider Aelin Hill qualified on her thoroughbred, and there was talk about finding her a more competitive equitation horse for the finals. In the end she chose to stay with her partner, feeling he would take care of her. I love their round because it showed that indeed West End did his job beautifully, coming out of a sticky fence unflustered to pilot around the remainder of the course easily. He is a cutie, and she is a lovely rider. While they were not in the ribbons, the picture was quite nice, especially for the first trip to the finals.

More on Dad

Dad and the Sampson family guard dog

So if you don't know my dad, it's important to state up front that while we're alike in some ways (long legs, tall) we are very different in other ways. In a nutshell, he's nicer.

 I didn't see notice this so much as a teen as I did as an adult. He's tough on his family, so I grew up in a stern household with a dad who demanded perfect obedience and who did not read Dr. Spock.  It was a very disciplined (and sometimes oppressive) home, but it was child-centered for sure. Mom and dad sacrificed for us.

Around other people, dad was anything but stern. Seeing dad from my "adult eyes" was like seeing him for the first time.

Some history...
Dad grew up during the depression on a dairy farm in Indiana -- a culture all its own as my fellow midwesterners will attest. Although he's lived in the suburbs and worked as a teacher since he was in his twenties, he still has a distinctive "farmer's walk" and demeanor. The same goes for his two brothers -- you can see they are brothers from a hundred paces. He was also subject to the discipline of German parents, but I know he looks back on his youth fondly. He was quite a basketball player and the Indianapolis Star once described Mort Kimmel  as a strong all-round player who "did everything but mop up the floor afterwards."

Old school values
Dad is one of the few true genuinely self-effacing people I know -- not shy, not unconfident, just not interested in making an impression or getting center stage. He's smart but you don't see it until there is a problem to be solved -- he was encouraged by profs at Purdue to get his PhD (biology), but he ended up teaching chemistry.

He is a great listener. He talks little about himself and takes an interest in other peoples' lives. Even here at the hospital, he's a favorite of the nurses, always  appreciative and uncomplaining, asking about (and remembering) their kids and interests.  He is funny in a Will Rogers sort of way, but you have to listen for it. I think he gets underestimated a lot by people who meet him in passing.

Classic Dad
The nurses are having a heckuva time drawing blood, and one young woman was flustered and apologetic as she repeatedly poked a needle into his  arm, making him him cry out. Dad remained encouraging, and he tried to make her comfortable as she struggled. He joked "third time's a charm" at her third attempt. It's classic dad that he was concerned more about her than the fact that he was a human pincushion trapped in bed.

Time out for a horse post

I thought this was a beautiful Medal Finals round and on the second viewing I realized, she has no stirrups. You might think, okay, fine, but this is the finals and probably all of the competitors are sit pretty without stirrups. It ain't so -- check the other videos on the USEF Network.

I think the way she sits in the horse, while also floating above, makes her look graceful and easy in this difficult test. The rhythm is lovely.

Dad's dreams

The sleep I wish for my dad.

If I was ever squeamish about  hospitals those days are gone. I guess spending a little time with the grittier side of health care is a good thing. I can be glad to have the experience from a character-building perspective.

Dad's dreams
The hardest thing about staying with dad in the hospital -- aside from the study-nook style couch -- is his dreams. He is lucid many times but at other times he is distraught and confused, and asking me to do things like "take these [nonexistent) letters" or answer questions ("can you help me down the [nonexistent]stairs?" He also has strange "waking" dreams that are both interesting (from a psychological perspective) and heart-breaking.

• On one wall where the Daily chart is posted, he saw two women -- he pointed at them and said "See that? See that?" I wondered if he meant women appearing on the TV and he said not, these were two women in blue blouses, and he described them to me. Then he stopped and said, "Oh, they've turned away from us now." This was a little eerie. 
• He loves to do yardwork, and the landscaping is immaculate. One night he became agitated, crying out with genuine distress that "men are coming to chop up my yard!" I could not dissuade him. 
• He lost his glasses prior to his fall, and his new ones came while he was in the hospital. He got his new glasses, but obsesses about having someone else's  glasses. 

  When in this waking sleep-state it is hard to understand him, and it frustrates him that I can't follow what he is asking.  His raw fear is very distressing. I want him to be comfortable, and from midnight to 5am it seems he is beset by images and ideas that are custom made to scare and upset him.

On to practical things...
He is also trying to leave the bed and pull out his IV. For the first time last night I decided to move the chair next to him and just sit in it, rather than using the built in couch by the window. That way I can hear him and watch him better.

This is stressful beyond what I can tell you. He has started taking a drug to help with sleep, but it takes a week to work.

Round the clock round-and-around...

My sister and I are sort of switching off on staying with dad in the hospital -- she's three hours away and I'm twelve hours away so this isn't easy logistically, but it is necessary.  Mom is dealing this this fairly well, but she is dealing with her own diagnosis of Alzheimers so she can't help.

Dad cannot feed himself and his appetite is such that he can only eat small amounts of food that really appeals  to him, so we need to be ready with his favorite foods on hand, at the optimal temperature. This is harder than it sounds when your patient alternates between sleep (45%), lucidity (32%), mild hallucination (22%),  and food readiness (1%).

Thing with dad is, when you think he is asleep he is fully aware of all conversations in the room. I had a conversation in hushed tones with the airline company one afternoon, whispering so that mom would not overhear my haggling over the service charge. Mom was five feet away. My dad was twelve feet away, but when I was sitting near him later, he piped up, "How did things go with the airlines?"

This made me look back to all of the other conversations we had when we thought he was asleep -- about his condition, his myeloma, etc. We didn't say anything awful, but we'll need to be more careful.

Why I am not a nurse...

Nurse Stacey? I think not.

Saturday afternoon, Dad asked me to bring him something to rinse his mouth out. I did.

Dad: [making a pained face) That is the worst water I've ever tasted.

Me: That's because it's mouthwash.

In my defense I did tell him it was mouthwash, but I guess he didn't hear me.

Update
Dad seems better today, stronger.   It's a relief because I was wondering if he was going to go in the wrong direction.  He had a comparatively phenomenal day the first day following his life-saving procedure (Thursday), but then he just sort of plateaued -- not able to eat, speak clearly, or even drink much, he just seemed to have stalled. But they don't like to keep folks in ICU.  Friday night they moved him from ICU to Acute care (one step less critical) at midnight, and the three petite nurses really struggled to get him into his new bed. The move, and the very awkward transfer into the new bed, left him exhausted and I was worried when I saw him Saturday am. Fortunately, after 10 hours sleep and some food, he is more himself, and close to where he was on Thursday.

Dad update, Friday

Dad and his grandfather

It was so gratifying on Thursday to see dad sitting up, eating, drinking, and talking a blue streak. I thought we were on the upward trajectory -- but maybe that's just not the way people recover, or maybe he is not out of the woods as I'd believed.

While his vitals remain pretty good, and he kept his first few meals down, on Thursday night he started to have nausea. For the moment, he seems to be unable to eat, and he is weaker.

I'm not sure how alert he is. For awhile I thought he was "out of it" but every so often he'll pipe in with a comment, barely audible, like "I have eight doctors." The number happens to be correct, because we counted (after he made the comment). None of us had done the math till he spoke up. He knows what sports games are happening every night. He keeps asking about where his wallet is, and did we cash a certain check. This is peppered in with a lot of delerious talk -- he talks to his brother who is not present, he points out a herd of deer over by the sink in the room, things like that.

Oh-- I'm burying the lead as they say in journalism. He has multiple myeloma, a kind of bone cancer. There is no cure for this type of cancer. They will be doing a bone marrow biopsy to see how advanced it is. The treatment to prolong life is chemo, which I cannot imagine right now. The next step for dad, once he improves, is a skilled nursing facility. All of these arrangements are made. What I want more than anything right now is for him to eat. I hope tomorrow brings another upswing...

My dad's recovery Morton G

Morton Garfield Kimmel III (my dad) holding my sister

So thankful for an everyday miracle thanks to medical technology -- dad is almost out of the woods. With internal bleeding and kidney failure, our docs felt he would not survive surgery that he needed -- we were just watching him decline and hoping his body would start to repair the damage -- which didn't happen. 

On Wednesday am, he was in rapid decline. They took a calculated risk and did a procedure that that was the lesser of the evil invasive options --they injected him with "hard on the kidneys" dye and ran a catheter to his abdomen. They identified the damaged artery and wrapped it in a feathery mesh infused with a clotting agent. Within hours his kidney function and bloodwork were coming back. Overnight I watched him basically come back to life. 

This morning he was lucid, talking, eating, drinking, and asking if he would be able to go to my niece's wedding. He is very weak, and dependent on supportive drugs, but very much in recovery.

I know the medical reasons for the procedure's success but it does seem like a miracle. Thanks all for your thoughts and prayers.

Family photo, around 1963

Family photo, around 1963

I left Allentown at 6am and arrived in Indianapolis at about 10am. Horse care was arranged for my guys -- thanks to wonderful owners and managers who make leaving town a worry-free process. I was supposed to horse sit for a friend and had to bail on that -- but I was able to get a trusted replacement.

The background
Dad has Parkinsons and early stage Alzheimers. Though you might not notice the latter, the former is evident -- walks with difficulty and shakes, which is probably why hes hospitalized. He was putting salt in the water softening and lost his balance.

Where we are now
The news is not great. He had internal bleeding into the abdominal cavity, damaging his kidneys and lowering his blood pressure. It took two days to find this out, and all the time his vitals have been declining.Today they ran a catheter from his groin into the abdomen, and they used a diluted dye to find the bleeding. A mesh fabric with clotting agent was applied, and this corrected the immediate problem.  The question is, will the kidneys be able to recover from this? The next 48 hours will tell us the answer. Meanwhile he is hungry and thirsty, but he can't eat until tomorrow.

Unfortunately there are other hurdles to overcome yet, not the least of which is a possible diagnosis of bone cancer (based on x-rays and MRI findings). The definitive diagnosis will come on Friday with some test results. If it is cancer, it is advanced.

Right now he looks very small and weak, and the problems seem so enormous.  Please keep my dad in your thoughts...

Prayers for my dad

Octoboer 8, 2013

Hi All,

I generally work about a week in advance on my blog entries, but this is an up-to-date update. My dad is pretty ill after falling at home -- he was putting salt in the water softener. What looked like an injury that was manageable  has continued to worsen.  He had unexplained low blood pressure and low hemoglobin -- then test results showed he has  a ruptured kidney, spleen involvement, and an aortic embolism that is growing in size. If that is not enough, they found that he has bone cancer too.  We're told the next 48 hours will be critical, and I'm flying into Indiana tomorrow am.

Please think good thoughts for my dad.

In the meantime I will try to keep up with the blog but forgive me if there is a lapse.

Take care everyone.

Three Days at Devon: Michael L Barisone and HF Victor

This performance scored a 70% but at around 2:50 there seemed to be a significant issue -- who walks during an energetic segment of a song? The music just did not match, for whatever reason -- guess this gives us an idea of how challenging it is to do a musical freestyle. Lovely horse, and many nice moments. I'd love to hear what happened...

Qwin 2013 Qredit son for sale

A friend of a friend is selling this Qredit son (2013). Looks like he has won some inspection and/or breed show awards and the quality of the mother is evident! Quaterbacks are known for being brave and friendly, at least as babies. Qredit himself has a wonderful damline (Judy Yancey Farms). This one is for sale b/c he will be too big for his petite owner, and he is priced to move! Details are at warmblood-sales.com

Three Days at Devon: Kelly Lane and Udon P

I don't know much about Kelly or Udon P but what a fun performance to Abba music...

Train your eye: Stallion licensing and videos

If you want to see the best that a given stallion has produced (in a given year), here is your chance -- Hanoverian licensing and sales list. My choice of this list are #101 and #12 -- but I'm only about half-way through. I'm going to show you 101.

Kerrits Fall 2013: Who cares if it's flattering

If the Gersemi shirt I highlighted recently is wise from the standpoint of looking good,  this is the shirt you buy in spite of how it makes you look. Don't get me wrong -- I love it -- but this pattern'll leave an imprint on your retina, and it will almost certainly scare the horses.  It isn't about how it flatters me, it's how it will look on Riley, when I'm riding him. I'm willing to take a hit for the overall picture. At $59 it is "typically priced" for a riding shirt. From Kerrits -- see the Kerrits catalog for details.

Totilas licensed stallion, #102

Wow, already young Totilas offspring are showing up at stallion licensing. Time flies.

Three days at Devon: Cesar Parra and Van the Man

Cesar Parra was striding around Devon in orange pants on the Friday of Devon week. It's not surprising that someone would wear those pants, but it is surprising that they would actually look good. Saw him ride for the first time that Saturday. He's a showman.

I know there has been some controversy around him, but for now I'll just appreciate that he had a nice ride on a horse that looked pretty happy. Thumbs up.

Three days at Devon: jeans and belts

So the fashion at Devon had its highs and lows. There were quite a number of women and men in  jeans breeches -- a phenomenon that, try as I might, I can't join. I probably tried on 3-5 pairs, and the goofy back pockets look ridiculous -- they have to sit outside the full-seat patch and there is nothing more "widening" than pockets a mile apart on your backside. Really I want a full-seat with a moderate (not high-waister) rise and NO pockets, for under $100 -- I mean, they're jeans. Romfh has a pair but they are over $150.

Okay, maybe a belt...
My favorite fashion item was a a belt that I saw on one of the CDI riders.  A woman (pictured above, right) sported a belt that I fell in love with--vintage bling, what's not to love?

I found it in the Horse of Course tack shop on the show grounds. I thought it was odd that all of the belts of this type were behind the cash register.  Turns out it is in a monitored area for good reason -- it's $460. By Otto Schumacher, the Liberace of the dressage world, here are some of his nice but pricey belts  online.

Three days at Devon: Thoroughbreds DO do dressage

Many of you may have seen the infamous flower-eating horse at Devon this year--I blogged the moment and took the video. That incident temporarily eclipsed what I think is the more significant story -- an OTTB competing at Devon and putting in two lovely tests against big-moving, bred-for-the-job high dollar horses. I'm hoping the floral moment will be a hook that makes people read the whole Chronicle of the Horse article about the story of Embracing Picasso.

In a nutshell
Pablo and his amateur owner Patty Weston qualified for and competed at Devon with only about 10 months of preparation. Here is the very lovely footage from their second ride in the Dixon Oval. Note Pablo's composure while a helicopter flies overhead! I can't think of a better illustration of what thoroughbreds can do...