Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Overheard at a barn. Or a horse show. Or a tack store.

I ran across a blog called Overheard in New York -- where readers can submit snippets of conversation overheard on the streets of NYC -- it's great! I love the idea. NYC is a melting pot metro-culture, teeming with all kinds of peoples and opinions, so the blog fodder is endless. I can think of another subculture like that -- the horse world. The grooms, the haulers, the boarders, the trainers, the farmers, the lesson kids, and all the others rub shoulders, and we have an opportunity to listen in!

Be a fly on the wall at a barn (or horse show)
Here are a few quotes overheard, from my own experience...

A TRUST FUND CHILD, PERHAPS?
13 year old girl to her young friend... "And I told the veterinarian to spare no expense in treating my pony."

ANXIOUS HORSE OWNERS...
Boarder #1: "I have a panic attack when the barn manager leaves a voice mail telling me to call her. I told her if she leaves a message to tell me if it's something urgent."
Boarder #2: "If the barn manager leaves me a message and says it's nothing urgent, I assume my horse is already dead."


NON-HORSEY BARN WORKER GIVES HIS FRIENDS A TOUR OF THE BARN...

Worker/guide: "This is the dressage ring."
Friend: "What's dressage?"
Worker/guide: "Dressage is where the horse is only allowed to go around in small circles."


AFFLUENT DRESSAGE DIVA OVERHEARD AT A HORSE SHOW

Diva friend: "I thought your husband told you no more horse shows?"
Diva: "He did. He doesn't know, but I campaign my horse all summer on the money he leaves on his dresser!"
So what have YOU overheard? The best quote gets a BTB pen and assorted paraphanelia. Share your quote in comments, provide an email or contact info (email me if you want), and I'll pick a winner :-).

17 comments:

  1. Oooh! I used to collect these. I got the best ones at the State Fair horse show attended by city folks.

    Nonhorse Person #1 at a hunter show: "How does the rider know which jumps to take?"
    Nonhorse Person #2: "The horse knows the order."

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  2. A "dude" on a trail string at Glacier National Park: "At what altitude do deer turn into elk?"

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  3. Wow, it really does smell like pot." Boarder comments during mare's moxa therapy and acupuncture treatment.

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  4. Overheard at Pony Club event in Melbourne: stormy faced teen leapt off horse, threw reins at mother and said 'You need to work on his flying changes!'

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  5. Overheard at a dressage show...
    Person 1: "So do you know your test?"
    Person 2: "We have to take a test? I didn't even bring a pen!!"

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  6. My neighbor, to me the first year we moved onto our farm:

    Why do you put blindfolds on your horses? It seems kind of cruel.

    (she was talking about the fly masks!)


    Local woman who fancies herself a horse trainer, to me upon finding out we have horses:

    If you need any help with your horses, let me know. I'm really good at working with them because I come at it from the angle that horses are PREDATORS and need to be shown who is boss.

    :0

    (I'm bending the rules here wrt overhearing, but it's b/c I'm rarely in the position to overhear things - people tend to turn to me and start talking directly to me if I'm around!)

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  7. Overheard at warm-up ring, A rated show, going into level 6 jumpers, about 11:30am:

    Rider #1: I HATE riding hung over
    Rider #2: I KNOW!! I think I am still drunk from last night!

    heh. . neither one of them came vaguely close to a ribbon ;P

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  8. Dressage instructor (in a very proper English accent) to two diva riders during a lesson (who were just taking lessons to say "I'm taking dressage lessons"): "What the f*** are you doing?" Miraculously, even tho' she dropped them b/c they wouldn't make the effort to learn, she still kept the two rider's daughters with no ill will. It's gotta be that accent! :)
    ~Mindy

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  9. Overheard at the boarding stable, discussing the recent purchase of a quarter horse mare, to be used for trail riding and who was kinda but not really really broke for the baby boomer who bought her.

    Buyer: "Isn't is great - she has papers!"

    Friend: "That's wonderful if you want to breed her or sell her" (said in a sincerely pleasant tone, but meant to be snarky).

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  10. My favorite ones are when horse people run into each other outside the barn and get overheard by non-horse people, like "Pete is just SO lame I don't know what to do with him," or "She's due in eleven months, and the dad is HUGE so it should be a BIG baby." I once said "He tore half his foot off when he lost his shoe" on my cell in a grocery store checkout and got some really shocked looks!

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  11. Marissa, along those lines: Years ago, Harv was fussy about taking bute, and I mixed it with baby food. While picking up my jars of pureed carrots at the grocery, another shopper -- a new mom obviously -- asked me if I liked the brand I was buying. I said "yes," and she said "Oh! How old is yours?" In a joking mood, I smiled and said "he's ten years old." Even though I quickly explained he was a horse, she was already backing away.

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  12. love it!
    I wish I had some, but I have been antisocial for years-- your quotes remind me why.

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  13. Ha! Love when we have to buy crazy stuff for our guys! I once got this recipe for a scratches remedy that involved all kinds of over the counter anti-fungal creams and various embarrassing ointments. BOY did the Walgreen's cashier not want to get too close to me!

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  14. Oh dear, I've been out of the horse social world for so long.....but one of the common comments at one barn whenever a horse got hurt...."It's a long way from his heart." Real sympathy, huh??? *lol*

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  15. My favorite was the disapproving looks we got as a bunch of preteens while buying diapers to wrap the lesson horse's foot when she got an abcess.

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  16. At the barn I board at, one girl is learning to jump (of course without a trainer) so I give her some tips once in a while. so I was watching, and called out to her," You are pulling on his mouth over the jump, give him some more rein so he can have his head..." and then the mother yells out to her,"yeah, give him more head baby..."

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  17. A lad (old enough to really know the facts of life) told me he had turned his mare out with a stallion, oh I said do you want such an early foal? He says don't worry, he won't cover her she's wearing a rug..... Visions of broken legs and snagged up other bits don't bear thinking about!!

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