Small moments: Remembering a friend

Erica (right) and I, 1996

Here is a memory of my friend Erica from years ago -- probably in the early nineties.

I am in a department store in Oxford, Ohio, with  Erica. Erica is probably my closest friend,  and she's a great shopping partner--especially clothes shopping. She has good taste and I trust her to steer me in the right sartorial direction -- toward the most flattering styles. For the iffy choices, she says things like, "it doesn't do anything to you, but it doesn't do anything for you either." Or "Well... It's not unwearable." (Erica uses double-negatives when she is non-committal, a habit I  picked up from her). When she approves of an outfit,  she says emphatically "You can't leave the store without this."

Anyway, we are in the Ladies Sportswear on this particular shopping day.  We find we're both drawn to the same blue and white seersucker A-line skirt, and we both decide to try it on. I pick out the size for my just-under-six-foot-tall frame and she picks out the petite version for her gamine figure. She is least 8  inches shorter than I. Into the dressing rooms we go, and back out again moments later. Not Good. We both look down and grimace. Walking over toward the panoramic mirror, we stand side by side and assess the situation. 

Erica:                 I can't do seersucker. You can  get away with it, because you're tall.
Me:                    Erica. I look like a house.
Erica: (smiling) Well, then I'm the garage.

It is such a small, forgettable moment. But as we stand together in front the mirror,  I feel how unique and wonderful she is.  Erica possesses intelligence, generosity, a sense of humor, and an endearing quirkiness. She's an original.

2012
I learned  last night that Erica has passed away. She had been battling a terrible illness, and had a setback. But she'd held her own so long, and the Facebook postings were upbeat. I didn't monitor closely, and when I checked back after a few days lapsed, I saw her memorial service announcement.  I picked up my orange tabby cat, Newman, and hugged him. I remembered that it was Erica the cat lover who inspired me to bring cats in my life, and who was so helpful with my questions about their care and habits. The pet names I use for my cats came from Erica. She's with me in small ways,  from how I talk to my cats,  to the turns of phrase I use, the way I think about libraries, and other small things.

Erica, you have touched so many lives, mine included.  Sleep in peace.

Erica Lilly
1962-2012