Bob update: About three months into Bob's treatment, he started having a relapse. His full-body rash was back. We were both so disappointed! It went on for about a month. Then, a week ago, I happened to notice Bob was keeping his pills in a weekly pill organizer on the dining room table. Why did that look wrong, somehow?
Then I remembered. When we take shipments on his oh-so-expensive pharmaceuticals, the box is labelled, "Keep Refrigerated." I was so steamed -- called him at work and we had a brief discussion. We traced back to the start of the relapse, and the purchase of the pill organizer. Shocker, the timing matches up.
Did you forget that it needs to be refrigerated?" I asked. The answer was all namby-pamby, I won't recount it here. All that worrying, and he can't be bothered to store the meds properly? We are keeping the new meds shipment in the fridge. Guess what? He's getting better. Let's hope that was the problem. But enough on our marital dischord. Or at least, let's go over a different form of dischord.
I knew it was only a matter of time. After a ten-year relationship and eight years marriage, Bob has started to make comments about the time and attention Harv gets. It started as a joke, like "I hope you give me this much time and attention when I'm old." Now it's finally started to get a bit more pointed. I tell Bob, you can take care of yourself. Harvey can't. But the argument is weak, at least to him. The human-animal bond is special, and in my opinion incomparable. I think Bob knows this deep down...
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Oh boy...
ReplyDeleteI am standing by for the same thing at some point. My husband is wonderful and supportive, and thus far has put up with the care, time and attention ( oh did I mention money?) I lavish on my 19 year old 4 legged partner. They both have a lot of years left in them, and I intend to make sure that those years are happy and healthy. That means doing what it takes for whoever needs it, and right now the navicular Tbred is first in line. The day might come when hubs questions the extra hay, pricey supplements or trip to the barn, I'm just hoping that by then he will realize that he can expect the same commitment and love if and when he is a little more fragile. It's what we do.
It was a very simple concept when hubby and I got married: love me, love my animals.
ReplyDeleteGood thing you found out about the medication storage. Hope that solves the problem and Bob feels better quickly. Scary.
ReplyDeleteWe've been married more than 19 years, together for 23. Just recently I told Hubby that pushing on me about the horses is a deal breaker. They keep me sane, grounded, and happy. Without them, I can't be the woman he married. We are a package deal. He got the message and apologized for the latest little issue. I love him dearly and encourage him to explore his own dreams. I just expect the same freedom from him. Hopefully Bob will come around. :0)
ReplyDeleteI never married, but the horse issue was the deal breaker in at least two of the relationships I thought might work out. One guy was SO into making money that he couldn't understand having a hobby that didn't result in some sort of "return on investment." His thing was boats. Apparently they retain their value.
ReplyDeleteThe man who sold my horse to me actually did make money in horses--his m.o. was to bring the horse to his place in the evening and sell them by the next day. His only expenditure other than fuel was two flakes of hay and the time needed to clean the pen.
It wasn't like I expected the "potential spouse" to go to the shows or stand by holding my tack rag and coat or even video the lessons. But the guys objected to my time with the horses and weren't interested in negotiating a deal.
Their loss.
Re the meds: Ooops, but that may make Bob aware that those annoying little tag things on medicine bottles are there for a reason. ;o)
I bought my husband a 22" Obsession telescope. When he complains about my horses, I LOOK at the huge telescope sitting in the middle of the living room. Then I reminisce about the 3 hour hike up a mountain to spend the night on an abandoned fire tower; toting the various bits of the telescope in my back pack, so he could watch the stars. We did have a good time, but my horses stay outside and I don't have to carry them. They carry me.
ReplyDeleteYour relationship with Harvy shows you are a compassionate person, who takes commitment seriously, and isn't going to leave just because things get difficult or messy. If you weren't this kind of person, would you still be hanging around to deal with HIS (Bob) illness? You can't have it both ways.
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