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| The sleep I wish for my dad. |
Dad's dreams
The hardest thing about staying with dad in the hospital -- aside from the study-nook style couch -- is his dreams. He is lucid many times but at other times he is distraught and confused, and asking me to do things like "take these [nonexistent) letters" or answer questions ("can you help me down the [nonexistent]stairs?" He also has strange "waking" dreams that are both interesting (from a psychological perspective) and heart-breaking.
- On one wall where the Daily chart is posted, he saw two women -- he pointed at them and said "See that? See that?" I wondered if he meant women appearing on the TV and he said not, these were two women in blue blouses, and he described them to me. Then he stopped and said, "Oh, they've turned away from us now." This was a little eerie.
- He loves to do yardwork, and the landscaping is immaculate. One night he became agitated, crying out with genuine distress that "men are coming to chop up my yard!" I could not dissuade him.
- He lost his glasses prior to his fall, and his new ones came while he was in the hospital. He got his new glasses, but obsesses about having someone else's glasses.
On to practical things...
He is also trying to leave the bed and pull out his IV. For the first time last night I decided to move the chair next to him and just sit in it, rather than using the built in couch by the window. That way I can hear him and watch him better.
This is stressful beyond what I can tell you. He has started taking a drug to help with sleep, but it takes a week to work.
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Stacey, I haven't been there yet- my wonderful parents are still healthy well into their 70s- but I know what's coming and I feel for you. No words, really- just my sincere hope that things will get easier for you and your family soon. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteAs I well know, it is a very upsetting situation. My thoughts are with you in these trying times.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you Stacey, I went through something very similar with my mother. I hope that things will settle down soon...sending good thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who works in healthcare, I can't tell you how much good you are doing for your dad by being present during his entire hospital stay. With confused patients, having a family member at the bedside helps them stay much more calm and oriented. This is a difficult time but know that your presence is the best thing you can do for your dad right now.
ReplyDeleteStacey, I know exactly what you are going through because not too long ago I went through a very similiar stint with my grandfather in the hospital. The hallucinations are very common and it is so hard for us to understand and sympthize with...they seem so real to the person going through them. My grandfather also pulled his IV's out. They finally put some mits on him so he couldnt anymore and that was a great thing for him. They are bulky and you feel bad but truly they're necessary. I am thinking about you during this time and checking back regularly. It's exhausting being the caretaker and just know that you are doing a wonderful thing for your dad and he would be so proud.
ReplyDeletexoxo, Ashley
www.theprocessoflearning.com
I know the feeling very well and my thoughts are with you! If you ever need a chat feel free to pop me a message! I hope that things settle down soon :)
ReplyDeleteTough situation. Hope your dad gets some relief soon.
ReplyDeleteStacey, I'm a long time reader, first time commenter. My father had Parkinson's as well, and he experienced many of the symptons you describe. Some of them were caused by the drugs he was given for the Parkinson's and the one they tried in the nursing home for his depression. My thoughts and prayers are with you, I know how awful this is.
ReplyDeleteAfter dealing with my Mother and my in laws during their final years, a lot of what they were going through was the loss of control and dealing with their parents. My MIL's parents died 30 years before her Alzheimer's bit her hard enough to need to live with me. She would talk to them about the boys she wanted to date, ask to go to college, feared white slavers (her dad's favorite control threat) and tried to find her debutant gown. My FIL saw ugly dogs. I would take him for a walk in the hospital (after a mild heart attack) and he would wander in to other patients room and say "My god what ugly dogs they have in this hotel." while looking at the patients. Then he would look at the information posters in the room and try to figure our the room rates, muttering "$30.00 a night for this dump. I thought I get a suite of rooms at $30.00 a night." He was back on his honeymoon in the late 30's. He had Parkinson’s dementia/Lewy body dementia.
ReplyDeleteThey were all struggling to come to terms with something that had happened earlier in their life. Something they still felt regret or remorse for. If he loves his yard, that maybe the focus of his concerns about loss of control. With my mom it was grocery shopping. I finally figured out that taking away the grocery shopping (she couldn't physically do it, too weak to even go in a wheel chair) was driving her nuts. So when she was in hospital I would stock the shelves with staples and when she would start talking about grocery shopping I would show her the full shelves and remind her we didn't need to go grocery shopping. Oddly, my mom HATED cooking and wouldn't do it. Getting the groceries were her control thing.