Dad update 11/30

Not dad's physical therapist...

News flash! Dad is unhappy. And I think that's actually good. He wants to do more than the nurses and therapists allow him to -- he is standing and walking on his own -- with support nearby -- to brush his teeth and do the basic living types of activities. And he wants to walk more than they're letting him walk.  I think he is losing his sense of helplessness.

Now, he wants to go home. He gets mad and frustrated. He yells at the nurses, mom, and Les. I talk to him on the phone. It's hard to know how to respond. With sympathy? Fake cheerfulness? Nope. What, then?

Dad: "This is a prison."

Me: "If this were a prison, you'd have a better gym."

I opt for the Vince Lombardi approach (or what I imagine it to be).  Therapy is boot camp, or spring training, I tell him, and he needs to use that anger and frustration as motivation to make himself stronger.

I don't know if it is realistic to think he will go home -- but I can't rule it out, especially with the possibility of home care dangling in front of us. It's all expensive, and it depends on how independent he can become.

The main considerations are: He can't fall again. Mom can't participate much in his care. He will almost certainly try to do things he should not try to do.

Time will tell.

Black Friday: Holiday shopping

I jokingly say that holiday shopping is, for me, a one for you, two for me experience. I have a little part-time job (in addition to my full-time job), and a little extra $$ to spare. I did not wait for Black Friday to buy these chocolate Tredstep Giotto paddock boots. I tried every possible Ariat boot at Rolex year before last, and I tried many of them again this weekend.

As I was leaving in despair, I chanced by the front display with these Tredsteps -- cheaper than Ariats and frankly more pleasing to look at and more comfortable. I love them so much they won't see the barn until I've worn them to work a few months.

 

My Thanksgiving

For every moment of joy 

Every hour of fear 

For every winding road that brought me here 

For every breath, for every day of living 

This is my Thanksgiving 

--Don Henley 

Dear BTB readers --

All whining aside, every day I know how lucky I am and how I am blessed. Blessings to you all. See you Black Friday!

Stacey

Some people call me the space cowboy...

My sister told me that one of the signficant signs of Alzheimers -- the point of no return -- is face recognition.

Well. That makes me feel somewhat better. But whether it is a vitamin B12 deficiency or something else, I cannot keep things together these days.

•  Whenever I leave the barn, I return to find I've left something out or left something undone. 
• Almost EVERY time I leave either barn, I stop at the gate, get out, and go back and check to make sure the stall door is secure. 
• I forgot the word "detour" when writing at work the other day. 
• I stood by the car trunk and asked Bob to "open the door." He grilled me about my use of the word "door" rather than trunk.

 Actually this last one scares me the most.  Alzheimers does tend to run in my family.

Aheadofthebest, CANTER PA success story!

Aheadofthebest and Elizabeth Callahan

CANTER PA is holding a contest for the best Thanksgiving Success Story, and this mare, Aheadofthebest, was my pick based on the photo to the right. This mare went to the Hilltop Farm mare inspection and performance test, and she kicked butt. To the right is a photo of her during the test, ridden by Elizabeth Callahan.

Here is what the American Hanoverian Society said in their inspection report:

"Elizabeth Callahan presented the lovely Thoroughbred mare Aheadofthebest for both Studbook inspection and for the Mare Performance Test. The mare is an excellent Thoroughbred type with wonderful rideability. She scored a 7.5 for her studbook inspection and a 7.22 on her MPT, including an 8 for rideability."

And I found the video of her inspection too...

Ebay: Let the Seller Beware II

Recall that I sold my saddle to a first-time Ebay buyer, DB. I think the saddle was for his spouse. Read here to see my first post as well as parts Three (III), Four (IV), and Five (V) for the whole saga!

Photo from Ebay listing

The sale...
DB bought the saddle using the Buy it Now feature, no questions asked. A buyer brand spankin' new to Ebay, one previous sale, buys a two thousand dollar saddle, and not one syllable of communication, no questions about fit, or condition.  That has never happened in my years of history selling maybe ten saddles on Ebay.  Before you shell out that kind of money, you ask questions.

Red Flag! But they did pay.  Still, I reached out to them before shipping the saddle, via email. I wanted to make sure a normal-sounding person, a non-scammer-type, responded. I got a brief but cordial response, so I shipped the saddle.

The $$$ changes hands
The saddle was in DB's possession for almost a month, and I heard nothing in that time -- we had exchanged emails re: the shipping, nothing afterward.  I usually keep money on hold for ten days or so, in case there is an issue -- even though the sale was posted as "no returns." Eventually, though, I apply it to something -- in this case, the money was used to cover my plane ticket home when dad got sick -- a $1500 ticket.

One month-ish later...
Then Paypal contacted me -- after twenty-five days, DB has opened a dispute  on my saddle. Paypal always encourages buyers and sellers to resolve disputes directly with each other -- filing a dispute is supposed to be "the last resort."  The buyers skipped this step, so I really didn't, and don't, have a good sense of what the problem is. The information in the dispute summary is less than twenty-five words and is sketchy at best. The only information I have is a line on the claim report:  the saddle is damaged "internally and externally." There was mention of a slit above and behind the stirrup bar, where it was noted that flocking could seen. To me it sounds like they don't know that's how you flock the saddle and it's part of the design.  Certainly any slits were not made by me or my fitter.

I don't know. I took closeup photos of the saddle in the Ebay post, including the seat, but I did not photograph the saddler's flocking area, nor have I ever seen that area photographed on an Ebay saddle sale. The saddle is only two years old, and it has received super care and regular maintenance. I rode it in regularly for 18 months, and semi-regularly in the last few months before the sale.

Let me harp on this some more...
Why didn't DB contact me? Why did DB let a month go by?

This makes me very suspicious. I have to question what why there was no communication, and might have happened to the saddle in the time it was in their possession. Could it have been damaged by accident, or did they try to have it adjusted unsuccessfully?

On an emotional level, bypassing the step of communicating with me is a giant middle finger, and it does not bode well for this buyer's judgement, honesty, or sense of fairness.

The saddle was sold with the stipulation that returns were not accepted -- that's why the saddle is so much less expensive than at consignment shops, which take 25% commission but permit and manage 3-day to 1 week trials, etc. Buyer's remorse is not an acceptable reason for a return. That said, if I had heard from the buyer right away, I would have been able to follow the chronology of the concerns. But after a month? What happened to that saddle is anybody's guess.

 It did not help when I read this thread on the Chronicle of the Horse about how Ebay buyers almost always prevail on claims. If you read it, I don't think you'll ever sell anything of value on Ebay again. I know I will not.

Stay tuned for Part III...

Dad update: The news is good

Dad, who was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in October, was not ready to start chemotherapy -- until last week. His treatment consists of weekly injections and pills...

• the injection to control the myeloma
• a bone anti-inflammatory
• anti-nausea drugs, if needed

He considered not doing it, but the oncologist is charming and persuasive! After talking to her a few times, he said he would try it -- but he was quick to say that if it was uncomfortable or painful, he would go the hospice route.

 I'd read the the disease itself could be painful in the latter stages.  I'm glad we didn't need to talk to him about which option would be the least of two evils.

Fortunately, after round one of chemo dad is doing great -- didn't need the nausea drugs! While no one likes the word "cancer," it is marvelous that the drugs and treatments have improved so much.

Now he can continue rehab and get his butt kicked by the therapists. Hoping for his sake that he'll be walking without assistance soon. At the moment his walks are a novelty, and not something he does for practical things during the day. He is terrified of falling, and who can blame him? He needs to get steadier, stronger, and more confident.

FITS breeches -- love love love

Obviously I didn't prep alot for this photo -- wrinkled shirt!

I had a credit with Smartpak Equine and ended up buying these FITS Treads winter pull-ons on a whim. I've always been a fan of FITS, and these have all of the qualities that I like about the company's products:

• a beautiful color
• flattering design that works for a lot of different body types
• fabric that is butter-soft and wears well
• functional and natural-feeling in the saddle

I love pull-ons, and my go-to zipperless breech company has always been Tropical Rider. I like TR Toasties Lites  (extended patch) for their economical *price and frequent sales. They offer wind-resistant warmth and many options for patch material and waist styles, as well as custom fitting and extra long. The more structured fabric hides and smooths out the old bod, but they don't have quite the stretch that FITS do. The styling is  workmanlike and simple, and the fabric is durable.

The FITS offer more stretch, breathability, and superior comfort. The design of the breech is more sophisticated/tailored looking, the seam placement is very flattering and sporty. They're at a slightly different **price point than TRs, and not surprisingly the the design and fit is better. While I have not washed them, I suspect the "treaded" full-seat will wear well. The TRs and the FITS are both comfortable, but the FITS are almost like loungewear!

I love both products, really, but right now I'm  jazzed about the FITS -- the style is great and I would wear them at a clinic.

NOTE: This is not an ad--I have not been in contact with FITS, and I paid full price for these breeches. I think they are a great buy.

I like clothes to be loose, so these breeches may be a size too large.
Don't blame FITS for the loose calves, it's partly the size I chose and
partly my skinny legs. 

*Toasties Lites full-seats --The clarino full-seat breeches are $110, but wait for one of their regular sales (most holidays) and get them for about $71. They custom fit if you ask.
**FITS winter pull-ons are $139.

Ri and I, Nov. 17: Figure 8s

More Ri and I. I think his trot looks pretty nice here. I'm wearing a belt and the buckle came loose -- it is flopping around, and my hoodie is flopping around, it was making me a little crazy. The canter work is still divey and the shoulders aren't "up" -- but I think this is some of the best trotwork he's offered for me...

Ebay: Let the seller beware I

This is a warning to folks who sell expensive, delicate items -- like saddles -- on Ebay  

See also parts Two (II), Three (III), Four (IV), and Five (V) for the whole saga!

I am in the midst of a dispute regarding an Ebay transaction, on a saddle I sold in October.  After ten years of successful transactions on Ebay, I'm learning a hard lesson. At the moment, it seems like sellers are not well protected on Ebay.

Would you send your saddle out on a 45-day trial to a stranger? Me neither. And I didn't understand that this is a possibility with an Ebay sale...

Saddle Junkie and wheeler-dealer
Most of you know I'm a saddle junkie, and I buy and sell a lot of them on Ebay. I have 500 transactions in Ebay, probably 15 or so were saddles in various price ranges -- I have a 100% satisfaction rate.  I post detailed photos, I answer questions, I measure, I try to be honest about whether I think a saddle will work based on what prospective buyers tell me. I do not take returns, though. Or at least, I didn't think I did.

I have three saddles  -- and that is too much money tied up in saddles -- so I put one up for sale. The saddle was in perfect condition. I took over a dozen photos and fielded many questions and requests from potential buyers.

What just happened?
Usually, buyers ask a ton of questions before making an offer. But in early October, a new Ebay buyer, with no transactions, just clicked Buy It Now and bought it, no questions asked. I had a bad feeling -- was this a scam? It's hard to imagine someone shelling out $2,200 without asking any questions. But they paid, so I I sold the saddle and shipped it.


Stay Tuned for Part Two (II).

Pony (well, close to it) at Prelim! Lauren DeNeve & Forest Nymph

Sinead Halpin just got the ride on this nifty 14.3 New Forrest Pony mare. She is going Prelim and tackled her first CCI* in April 2013. Fun fun fun to watch!

Micheal Pollard & Kyra OP Dressage get an 83.6%ish

Most of you know that in eventing, the scores in dressage are penalty points, so to compare scores in eventing to regular dressage, you subtract the number from 100. Given that, Michael Pollard and his Kyra OP got an 83.6% or 16.4 penalties in their recent test. Thanks to eventingnation.com for breaking the story, and for the great stories they have been posting about the Eventing training lists. Awesome! Anyway, here is the test...

Braids in color

I stumbled on this page, Phelpssport.com, that shows unusual braid jobs on the post Colorful and Creative Braids steal the show at the Alltech National. It's also on Facebook -- I hope Phelps does not mind that I am reproducing part of a closeup of the braids, it's all in the interest of driving you guys to her site to see some braid experimentation

Standard disclaimer: I'm a crappy braider and have no business critiquing anyone's braids. But...

I love the idea of the alternating braids, and adding color. IMHO it won't work unless there is perfect uniformity, and the colors are not perfect and uniform as the braids are. When I first saw the photo of the black horse in the Chronicle, I wondered if they had run out of the right color yarn, and thought it was nice that the judge let them win anyway.  Then I pondered, and searched, and found this page.

I wish the braiders luck, it's a worthy effort.

Ri and I: November 11

I have Ri in training -- with dad being sick, and me losing part of the summer to injury, and Bob's health issues, it seems like the prudent Riley-oriented thing to do. I do ride him a few times a week when I'm in town, an we took some footage last Sunday.

 

I'm happy with the footage overall, esp. Riley, who is better balanced and far more forward at the trot. The canter is a little wild and woolly, with a big loss of balance at the end, but I like that he is MOVING and pretty much staying in the canter till I ask for trot.  Getting him to go better involved  a little bit of "back to the drawing board" -- but I like where he's going now.

Me? I think I'm less of a belly flopper, but there is work to do. I need to be more consistent with my upper body and to control my posting better. Several trainers have told me I sit "too hard" and too long, and I'm being asked to think of the saddle as a hot plate. As a result, I'm a little lost at the moment, a little out of synch with Riley. I will say it doesn't seem to bother him, and he looks happy. Go figure.

Perfect sponsor for a big-moving horse...

Dad update

My dad with his dad, circa 1978

I'm pleased to report that in this moment, dad is doing really well. He is eating (thanks to Bob Evans, Cracker Barrel, the Red Lobster rolls, and Frozen Custard's shakes!). He is walking with some assistance. His spirits are good. He is making friends with residents. And the nurses love him.

He does have some blood issues -- he had to have a transfusion today. But I guess with his condition (multiple myeloma) it's to be expected.

It's funny, I always thought mom would be the flexible one who could adapt, and dad would languish when the inevitable aging process requires a life change. In fact it is the opposite. Dad is thriving in the nursing home, and mom is really struggling alone in the house. Her Alzheimers is not helping, but... Somehow it is worse  for mom.

Diarrhea in older horses -- like Harv

Harv has fairly consistent diarrhea. It is not continuous, but 75% of the time he seems to have loose poops that I can't explain. I've heard that as teeth are less effective, hay is harder to digest, and cubed hay is indicated. I'd hate to do this, so I'm trying a few other things first. I bought some Platinum Bio-Sponge, which has been well-reviewed for helping digestive issues. An eight-day supply was $30. Apparently it absorbs toxins, viruses, bacteria and free radicals, and other bad stuff. There is research to support its effectiveness in resolving diarrhea. But it seems to me it is more symptom control and does not address the cause of diarrhea directly. This may be okay in many cases.

I gave it to Harv for the first time a few days ago. It has made a difference! But it is not the easiest to administer. Here are a few tips...

• It's the consistency of powdered sugar, but apparently not as good-tasting. The instructions say "top dress" but you have to feed about 2/3 or 3/4 cup twice a day. Harvey, who I feel would happily consume scrap iron, gave up on his top-dressed feed after a valiant try.  SOLUTION: Mix with apple sauce and mix in their regular feed. At least, it worked on Harv. Riley would probably need a slurry.
• The smallest tub lasts eight days, after which you determine if it worked, or will work. I read online that the manufacturer says you can feed it long term in lower doses (e.g., half the amount, twice a day). Unless your horse is in critical condition, this may work.
• If you have questions about administration, call 1 (800) 553-2400or email clients@platinumperformance.com. I've heard that they are very helpful and responsive.

I'll give a full report at the end of the administration period. But I do think Harv is better.

Beta Biothane halters: A big thumbs up!

True color, halter and lead rope

I have a word to say about turnout halters and a recommendation for you: Two Horse Tack for biothane halters, bridles, reins, breastplates, harnesses, and more. Skip to the bottom to view the many kinds of custom halters that are available...

The problem with leather
Let's face it, leather halters do not stand up that well to turnout, and they're a pain to clean. And if your horse likes to play halter-tag, it can get expensive to constantly replace them.

Where is the beta biothane?
It's surprisingly hard to find a halter that has the look of leather  that is safe and easy-care. There is a big name company that makes them, but only in two sizes, and without a safety mechanism for when your horse gets caught up.

Biothane: A great alternative to leather!
Here is a shoutout to Two Horse Tack for their biothane tack -- especially their biothane halters.  Two Horse Tack does custom biothane horse equipment -- reins, bridles, you-name-it. Their halters with a wide array of sizes, colors, styles, and hardware, as you can see from their order page. Beta biothane is easy care. See care instructions.

Photo is a little over

I am astonished that a product that is so reasonably priced offers so many customizations. Some customizations I particularly like are:

• Range of sizes--from mini to draft (or custom)
• Colors--12 solid colors, 13 overlay colors & 13 rhinstone colors
• Hardware--stainless steel or brass (no rust)
• Type of noseband--solid or adjustable chin. 
• Safety leather crown 
• Selection--English, western, Austalian, Trail, bitless bridles, and more.

I provided measurements for a perfect fit. Naturally Ri got a brown and ORANGE halter and the lead rope. The pricing is outstanding IMHO and the quality is wonderful. This halter will last a long time, looks great, and I can just hose it off. See the photos of Riley! Note that one of the photos is a tad washed out, the closeups show the true color... See below for more photos and styles...

Photo is washed out. See above for actual color. 

Two Horse Tack

www.twohorsetack.com

(859)- 338- 4265

twohorsetack@gmail.com

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/pages/Two-Horse-Tack

Check out their blog too

http://twohorsetack.wordpress.com

Riley trot and canter

Did I mention how much I like this clinician? Every rider, every ride, over the course of months of watching, there is so much variation and personalization -- learn something new every time.

White hairs, old faces

Harv has lost his sleek summer hair, and his teddy bear body is back. The winter coat makes his white hair all of the more prominent. I snapped this shot during one of our marathon grazing sessions.

I've been thinking a lot about aging. Harv is old in body, but his eyes are bright and he retains his thoroughbred nervous system. As to the rest of us?

 My dad is in failing health physically,  and my mom has some dementia. Bob is confronting the limitations of a bad knee, making him cantankerous and frustrated.  Me? Well, I feel stiffer when I ride, it's harder to exercise without repercussions, and -- I have a crepey neck. The students I work with at the university look at me, and speak to me with the distance and respect due to an older person. Gads.

Those of you who have not crossed this threshold, prepare yourself. It's quite a line to cross.

Riley Canter work

If I had one wish for improving my work with Ri, it would be to get a better canter. Here I can see what he's able to do when ridden properly by a super clinician who I highly recommend (email me for details). Ri has not had consistent work over the summer, for various reasons having little to do with him, but he's starting to "come back." I'm really hoping we'll do first level next spring.

Riley canter work from Behind the Bit Blog on Vimeo.

Bon Charmeur: Nice canter!

Fine Time: Metronome trot

I love that rhythm/cadence/whatever that this horse has...

Like the set of his ears: Destano

I just like the set of his ears! Reminds me of Riley...

Riley clinic -- Trot work, part 1

Here is Riley at a recent clinic (ridden by clinician) at a trot.

IMG 0305 (1) from Behind the Bit Blog on Vimeo.

A fun horse to own

When I saw this footage I remembered a sweet horse, a thoroughbred, at a barn where I boarded. He was banned from racing because he refused to leave the starting gate. He was a doll, and I bet this horse would be a blast to own (if you aren't a hunter, jumper, or eventer). Flat work!

Dia De Laurentis: Another of Riley's siblings

What a cutie! Like Ri, she seems pretty unflappable and she does seem to like to jump. Wish I knew her dam...

Riley clinic: The experts speak

Riley was in a clinic a few weeks ago -- first ridden by the clinician, and then by my trainer. I rode him in another session, and have ridden under this clinician in the past. He offers some insights on where Riley is with his training and what he needs. Here is Ri after the clinician "tuned him up" and before my trainer's ride. I think the commentary at the beginning is a hoot.

Don Reccio

Maybe not the loftiest, but what a good egg.

HKM Breeches: Flamboyant!

HKM breeches -- I don't think I've heard of them but they have unusual styles -- I love the snakeskin...

Sandrine: A nice gray from the elite auction

Not sure why she was featured, but she is awfully nice...